Nov 30, 2008

Mr. Penis Riding Public Transportation

A few months ago, it's raining like hell, so I decided to take the subway versus a cab. It was crowded, standing room only. At the next stop this babe gets on with a really tight butt and finely developed big boobs. She just had to get in front of me with her tight butt facing Mr. Penis. Sure enough he raised his ugly head and as the subway car rocked on the turns, he protruded into bumping her butt, strictly by accident of course. She new what was going on but ignored the situation. Soon as I reached my stopped, I had to rush over to the restrooms and masturbate. That damn Mr. Penis just wont behave himself in public.

Nov 29, 2008

How Mr. Penis Lost His Virginity

I was about 11-years-old. There was a fire in the neighborhood, so the neighbors took the victims in till they could get resettled. My mother took in a 13-year-old Italian girl. Not remembering we had a female in the house, I had two younger brothers, I left the bathroom door open and she saw me. She looked right at Mr. Penis (I was well endowed even at that age), and he jumped to attention like he just joined the Marine Corps.
Next thing I knew she walked in and started playing with it.
It exploded, I didn't know what to do, I was in a panic thinking if my mother catches us she'll beat me with her big wooden spoon.
But Mr. Penis didn't care, he was throbbing and spilling his guts out all over the place.
That's when I learned Mr. Penis had a mind of his own.

Nov 28, 2008

Mr. Penis is on the job

I work at JFK. I was doing cargo in the International terminal last week and having lunch in the passenger terminal area. This flight attendant from a foreign carrier walks by, gives me the look. Mr. Penis jumps to attention like it's the first time he's seen a broad in a skirt, I'm thinking WTF. I had to cut lunch short and head to the men's room for some one on hand consultation with Mr. Penis. When I walked out there she was standing there waiting, she gave me her name and motel, close to the airport. I told Mr. Penis he would have to wait until I got off work. Then I headed over to her motel and slipped her some Italian salami.

Nov 26, 2008

Tony D says....

Hey I'd like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving.
Mr. Penis hates this time of the year, all the relatives are at my mother's house and he has to behave himself.

Next posting day after the Turkey Feast!
Have a good one....

Nov 25, 2008

Mr. Penis on the Job

So a few weeks ago, I am working the door at this major club and this hot blond wants to get in. The manager allows us to rotate the door position and each bouncer gets to let in one single unattached hot babe of his choice. I take one look at her and Mr. Penis is up and ready to go. So she is drooling over me and wants to get in really bad but I am thinking na fugg-it let her wait I am working this gig to make some money, and at the door the rich boys slip you 'hundred' to let them in. But Mr. Penis is throbbing now and I can't stand it any longer, so I whisper in the girl's ear, 'Side Alley.' She immediately responds, 'Yes!' So I tell another guy that I need to take a leak and fill in for me for a few minutes, he smiles, and says, 'Go for it.' So I take this chick out back and Mr. Penis can hardly wait to get out and going. She takes one look at the big stud and backs up. Then she starts stroking it. I said, 'Hey it's not a handjob admission, it's a gate admission.' So she smiles and pulls up her mini skirt, she's going commando style, that makes it easier, so I slip in Mr. Penis, he is so excited, she is so wet.
Oh My God:
boda bing boda boom boda bing
So you'd think Mr. Penis would be satisfied, but as I walked back to my door position, there was another hot chick and he's standing at attention like it's been a month since he's had any.

Nov 24, 2008

Oh That Mr. Penis

Tony D here talking about Mr. Penis.
Let me give you an idea how he wont leave me alone.
I was at the spa last week in my trunks, small skimpy show design (hey I am a male and Italian), and there he is popping his head up trying to get out.
I had to stay in the spa submerged for 30-minutes before he would even go half way down and still the ladies were starring when I got out.

Oh my, Mr. Penis is embarrassing me again.

Nov 23, 2008

Me versus Mr. Penis

More about me, yeah, yeah, but I now you're really curious, especially you lovely ladies out there.
My real name is Tony D.
I am also known as (aKa)...
Big Tony (club girls gave me this name)
The Virgin Killer (from my high school days)
Tony No Neck (From my heavy weight lifting my shoulders sorta have merged into my neck which is also huge. Hey ladies everything on this hulk perfect body is huge.)

I am 5'-11'', 245 pounds, a weight lifter.
I wrestled in high school, did some drama in a few school plays, some male modeling, and now I work at JFK as a cargo handler. I also work part time as a bouncer.
Yes, it really is big, 7.5” but the girth (diameter is a real vaginal spreader)

Nov 22, 2008

Mr Penis, He Wont Leave Me Alone

He pops up everywhere.
No matter how much attention I give him, he demands more.
The ladies worship him.

One girl asked if she could marry Mr. Penis but put the rest of me in a box, WTF, are you kidding me or what?

Oh My:
boda bing boda boom boda bing