Jan 31, 2009

Mr. Penis at the Airport Bar:

So I got off work the other day and stopped at the local Airport Bar Lounge. I like it there, a lot of international flight attendants will hang out there on their overnight before going over to the hotel.
Anyway, there was this Chinese gal from Singapore Airlines. What a doll, a real fox.
Met up with her.
She was a hottie I tell you.
At the lounge Mr. Penis took one look at her and got a fast rise.
I struck up a conversation with her, but she was really reluctant at first, so I turned on my charm and sex appeal.
It worked, I got her into the sack.
Wow Mr. Penis made short work of this very tight young Asian pussy.
She got all her holes drilled. Her butt was a virgin and she cried out for mercy but Mr. Penis said no and she finally took it like a good girl.
I later found her crying in the bathroom and ask her what was wrong?
She said she had a boyfriend back in Singapore and was ashamed at what she did.
I said, hey, if you were really sure about this guy, you would have never went to bed with me. Maybe this is just a sign for you two to move on. She smiled and said maybe you are right.
I gave her my phone number and also told her where I worked part time as a bouncer at the nightclub.
As I was walking out, she said, 'I never met a man who was so big and who could make love for so long.'
It made me feel good. Mr. Penis was pretty damn happy too.

Jan 26, 2009

Mr. Penis is in Full Recovery:

I finally got over my bladder infection.
Wow Mr. Penis is so happy.
He is almost constantly hard.
I started masturbating lightly Friday night and everything was ok.
Saturday I went over to an old flames apartment and banged her into till pure hunger and exhaustion set in.
I worked the nightclub Saturday night. There I picked up a trollop blonde little floozy with a sever case of silicone boobs, and a tight ass that said take me now I am yours.
I wet home with her and rock her cradle of love until Mr. Penis through in the towel.
Later, I got to get some sleep.
I am working the night shift at the airport today.

Jan 14, 2009

Mr. Penis Has a Cold

Yes, he got a bladder infection and now he's under the weather.
It's the first time he has ever left me alone.
So what does he do, he gets angry, and makes it hurt when I pee.
Damn that penis guy!

Jan 10, 2009

Another Party Story

Back in high school I dated this nice very well developed Italian girl the last 5 months of my senior year. We were at my friends place, parents away of course, and drinking some brews. She was always rubbing Mr. Penis, giving him lots of attention with hand-jobs, sometimes two a day. She was drinking and got kinda tipsy so she whispered to me wanna do it? I said, 'Yeah but not here.' She said, 'oh take me here it would be great.' So I unzipped my pants and took out Mr. Penis, she sat on my lap, and moved her panties over, and in it went. It took a little doing so no one would notice but at a party, people don't notice much. Once inside her, she sat on it, moving slowly as not to attract attention. Then I exploded inside her. She just raised up a bit, moved her panties back and went to the bathroom as I zipped up.
Great fuck she was. this was one of the few times I had sex without a condom.

Jan 8, 2009

My First Playboy Magazine:

I was at my father's work place when I was about 14. I needed to take a pee. So I used the Porta-John Toilet. Someone had left a playboy magazine there, so I took it. Once I was home, I went into the bathroom and began to look at the beautiful women. Mr. Penis was so excited. I masturbated twice before coming out. I masturbated a lot using that Playboy over the next year. When I was fifteen my father gave me a Penthouse magazine, he didn't know I had the Playboy, I kept it hidden. So I passed the Playboy to my younger brother and Mr. Penis began a new venture with my new Penthouse magazine.
There was a lot of masturbation going on in that house with three teenage boys there.

Jan 5, 2009

He Just Wouldn't Leave Me Alone

So I have today off.
Thought I'd sleep in.
Mr. Penis demanded attention, he won't leave me alone.
I masturbated before I went to sleep last night but it didn't help.
He woke me up several times during the night, so about 4:00 am I got up and masturbated again.
Didn't help. I just had to get up again early this morning. So here I am at my apartment in New York having a cup of instant coffee and Mr. Penis is hard again, so I am headed off to the toilet to relieve his anxiety attack, and may be just maybe I can go back to sleep.

Jan 2, 2009

Mr. Penis at the New Year's Party

Hello, it's 2009 and I am back.
Went to a pretty good New Year's party.
Mr. Penis had two girls.
Both were at the party. The first one was drunk so I took her out for some air, damn it was cold.
So back inside she was all other me. But she was falling down a lot so I sat her on the steps of the apartment building and Mr. Penis jumped right into her mouth. She was gagging but I shoved it in further. I saw that look in her eye and felt that tighten of the muscle and pulled out as she upchucked all over the place. Mr. Penis didn't miss a beat, as I grabbed her by the hair and shoved it back in her mouth. I gave it too her deep throat and she puke again. Once more I shoved it in, and she puke some more. Now there is a hell of a mess in the stairway.
So I picked her up over my shoulder and took her up a few flights, and pushed her facing the corner, lifted up her dress, moved her panties to the side and Mr. Penis slipped right in as I gave it to her hard letting a load that oozed out ever where.
Then when the party broke up, one of the girls who came with another guy and his girl, asked if she could come back to my place. Mr. Penis is very polite to lovely ladies, doing the big erect thing nudged my pants and indicated to me he was ready. So off we went for sex at my place. We only did it once, both of us were pretty drunk and tired, and fell asleep.
That morning I woke up and she was on top of me riding Mr. Penis to a climax of outer proportions.
We took a shower together, went to the diner, got some breakfast, and I put her in a cab and sent her to place.
Then I got ready and went to my parents for a spaghetti, meatballs, and sausage dinner where I made a pig of myself.
Unfortunately my first cousin announced on New Years Day he got engaged. So then I had to listen to my mother, remember we're Italian, constantly lecturing me about when I was going to get marred, settle down, and give her some grandchildren.